The Hidden Life – 2

Of the few photos of my childhood that have survived, one stands out. It’s of an angelic three-year old with an impish grin and holding a little stick. I had obviously been up to no good, because my eyes were closed, in the false belief that no one would see me.

I have grown up since of course, but that trait has still lingered on. I’m sure that in my workplace, whilst attending church services or out with friends, there have been some who may have thought, ‘what a nice man!’ Maybe that’s what I wanted them to see? But perhaps that ‘nice man’ needed to ask himself the questions, “What am I like when there is no one to see? What do I do in secret when I am all alone?”

There is of course One who sees all and sees us as we really are and His name is Jesus. He is always present. He sees the fears and doubts that surface when we are all alone. He sees the unhealthy habits or lingering illicit glances, in the hope of false comfort. He sees the envious desires for another’s popularity, achievements or belongings.

It’s this hidden life that really counts, not what others may perceive or think of us. It’s how we respond that determines our true character. The fact that He sees all is challenging, but if we really believe, it is also a tremendous comfort.

“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3 New International Version

The Hidden Life – 1

I used to be centre stage,
on the front line for all to see.
I felt wanted, stimulated, fulfilled
and even, dare I say – successful.
After all, I had letters of thanks and praise
and a lapel badge displaying my role.
So you’d be right in thinking.
I was just a touch proud.

Then came a long painful transition –

I’m still on the front line of battle.
But now I go mainly unnoticed, unseen and
except for the occasional lingering backward glance,
it doesn’t matter anymore,
because He sees all.
He is where we belong.
He is where we find satisfaction.
He is all we need.
That’s all that matters.
I’m learning that all we need is Him.
Something inside is dying so that I may live.

“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3 New International Version

Flight or Fight?

I thought of calling this post “The Great Escape,” because when the going got tough I used to get going. When I was faced with a conflict situation, where I felt threatened, I often looked for an escape route.

When things became difficult in our church we tried another one, only to find they had problems of their own. Work was always highly pressured, so it was easy to defer a difficult decision until later and still be seen to be working hard. In relationships, I tended to avoid any clash of opinion or disagreement.

The ultimate was the house move. The situation at home was trying, transport for our children was getting difficult and we seemed to have reached stalemate in our community. We decided therefore, to sell up and move to the next town and make a fresh start. But try as we might, we couldn’t make it happen. As our arrangements for sale and purchase kept falling through, I became desperate.

I needed to hear from God. Perhaps there was something we weren’t seeing? That’s when we realised we would take our problems with us. It would be a different location, but once things had settled down, there would still be the same lessons to learn. It was only after we decided to stay put, that we saw things in a new light and slowly, very slowly, our circumstances began to change, difficulties eased and we saw no reason to move.

So what was I running from? I came to see that it wasn’t people or things or even events that I was scared of, but the feelings within myself. I was afraid how I would cope with others’ anger or even my own and then there was the fear of failure. Over the years, I faced these ogres with Jesus and began to find freedom, as I saw myself from God’s perspective.

It is still a weak area for me and I may still procrastinate from time to time, but I am learning that:

We have a choice to run away or stay and fight.
If we run away we don’t grow.
When we take the first step in faith to face the fears/situation/problem, God steps in and we have as good as won.

“David thought to himself, “One of these days I’m going to be swept away by the hand of Saul! There is nothing better for me than to escape to the land of the Philistines. Then Saul will despair of searching for me through all the territory of Israel and I will escape from his hand.” 1 Samuel 27:1 New English Translation

Where is My Treasure?

I’ve changed over to a brand new computer and have just completed re-installing all my software, documents and files, configuring the email and making sure everything works. I’m no computer-geek, but I have picked up some expertise along the way and consider myself reasonably confident.

They say that changing computers can be as stressful as moving house. I admit that is has taken up a considerable amount of time and energy over the last few days and I did wake up one night puzzling over an installation problem. But, on the whole I feel satisfied – even smug? – that it has gone so smoothly.

Compared with my old machine, the picture is crystal-sharp and I’m amazed at the speed. I can literally zip through the web pages, whereas before, there were times when I had to wait ages for a page to load. It’s a bit like changing from shopping at the local store to finding my way round the new out-of-town mega supermarket. I could play with it all day, exploring all the possibilities — and there’s the rub! I have to remind myself that it is only a tool, a means to a creative end, otherwise it can take over. After all, I’m not in love with my computer – am I?

What is the love of our life? The thoughts that fill our mind for most of our waking hours give a clue. What does our mind flip back to, during a pause at our workplace or driving along the freeway? I am conscious that if our time and energy are centred on following Jesus, there is the potential for the world around us to change!

Jesus longs for that central place in our hearts.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Luke 12:34 New English Translation

The Heart Cry

God always answers the cry that comes from the depths of our being. It’s almost as if the actual words are unimportant, as He sees what is on our heart.

Sometimes I have found the answer comes immediately, like the time I crushed my thumb. My knee-jerk reaction was to reach out to Him with my damaged hand. There were no words, but everything inside me called out to the Lord and within the hour my thumb was healed. Or the time I nearly drowned in the sea, when my desperate inner cry for rescue was answered in a miraculous way.

There have been occasions when, after wrestling for ages in a difficult and painful situation, I didn’t know how to pray anymore. I just cried out – a desperate son to a loving Father – in a mixture of surrender and expectation, with all the faith I could muster. There was no immediate tangible answer, but a definite deep assurance that He had heard my cry and it was all in hand.

I believe God so identifies with our heart cries, that He always answers us.

“O LORD, my defender, I call to you. Listen to my cry! If you do not answer me, I will be among those who go down to the world of the dead. Hear me when I cry to you for help, when I lift my hands toward your holy Temple. – Give praise to the LORD; he has heard my cry for help. The LORD protects and defends me; I trust in him. He gives me help and makes me glad; I praise him with joyful songs.” Psalm 28:1-7 Good News Bible

Absolute Care

I was always something of a worrier, so when I became a Christian it was a revelation to learn of a loving Father God, who cared for me personally. I was particularly gripped by the fact that He knew me inside out and had “every hair on my head counted!”

However, anxiety still remained a weak area in my life. I had difficulty trusting God with some things and thought it best to ‘help’ God out by worrying!

I feel it’s not until we come up against circumstances that are out of our control, when we just don’t have the answers anymore, when we cannot ‘fix it,’ that we become desperate and are given the opportunity to receive a deep heart knowledge of God’s care. I’m thinking of situations like financial breakdown or illnesses that have no lasting medical solution for example.

Even then, if you are like me, you may stay in denial and pretend everything is still ‘normal.’ Perhaps, after clutching at straws, by trying anything that might just give a glimmer of hope, we come to an end of our own efforts. That is when, in all humility, we throw ourselves into Father’s arms and give it all to Him. It may feel risky. It may change the direction of our lives for ever, but His care will be absolute.

He will never let us down. We can trust Him.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 New International Version

Without Prejudice

Some years ago, when I was helping out at a conference, a young woman came up to me and made a direct remark concerning my personality. It was a childlike observation and her command of the English language was halting, but I knew it had the ring of truth about it. I was taken by surprise and rather than ask her to explain further, I thanked her and carried on with my business.

However, my thoughts inside went something like this: “How cheeky and anyway, who does she think she is. After all, we haven’t spoken before, so how can she possibly know anything about me!” Even now, I shudder at having had such proud and arrogant thoughts. It was well over a year later, when through personal need and looking to God for the way forward, I began to have some understanding of what she had discerned.

Hearing what God is saying to us brings life and freedom. If we really want to hear, then God will use whoever and whatever to get his message over. The question is, will we have the humility to accept His chosen messenger or are we prejudiced? Obviously we take what we believed we have heard and compare it with God’s Word. But are we open to hear through someone who we may not like, is from a different background or culture, is much younger than us, appears unintelligent, has no position in a church organisation – need I go on?

“Then the LORD opened the donkey’s mouth, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” Numbers 22:28 New International Version

Church Without Walls

We may never go to ‘church’ or we may attend a church service twice on Sunday, plus mid-week. But either way, is that it for the week? There are still over 100 waking hours left for Church.

What about:

The unexpected exchange in the street,
while traffic whizzes by.
A tuning-in, a gelling of minds during
a few minutes when
something happened deep and true.
You parted feeling lighter, even warmed.
Was that not Church?

The lunchtime gathering at the office,
an impromptu meeting of like-minds.
Just being together,
sharing of lives, joys and fears.
That was Church

The knock on the door,
just as you were off out.
Someone in distress,
so you dropped everything
and lent a listening ear
and perhaps some prayer.
This is Church

Husband and wife
intimately share feelings, hopes and fears.
Praying together and
asking God what He has to say.

Are you getting my drift?
In all these God-arranged or inspired
linkings, meetings, exchanges of His people,
outside of any committee, structure or organisation,
He was there.
This is Church

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25

“For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 All quotes New International Version

Getting the Balance Right

I’m a fan of the Gilbert and Sullivan comic operas. In the ‘Pirates of Penzance’ there is a chorus: “A paradox, a paradox, A most ingenious paradox. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, That paradox.”

I sometimes think that on first sight the Christian life can appear to be full of paradox’s, with conflicting instructions between two extremes. For example, in the Bible we are told that salvation is a free gift, but it costs everything we have: that walking with God is effortless, but it takes effort: that we don’t have to compete, but we need to run the race to win!

Of course the Bible is not a set of rules – we have been freed from all that – but it’s about a love relationship with Jesus. We find the balance as we follow Him and allow Him into our lives.

Even as a Christian, I tended to swing between two extremes. There were often crises and difficulties at work which could be scary and stressful. However, as I faced the problems and the adrenalin flowed, I found it stimulating and fulfilling. In a way I didn’t want to stop, so took this pattern into my private life. And then, as I tried to relax I would swing the other way and even become lethargic. There seemed to be little in between full pelt and stop.

I have discovered something about adrenalin. It boosts your energy, but it also releases a stress hormone that eventually can have a suppressive effect on the immune system. Now you just cannot live on adrenalin for too long before you get stressed out and you become ill. That’s what happened to me.

My life was out of balance and I was forced to take stock and spend more time just abiding in Jesus and feeding on that love relationship.

Now, I try to flow with Him rather than do things in my strength and cause stress. I am mindful of two things. First, that God’s energy and power are His, not mine – obvious, but very important – and secondly, when God’s power works through us, it is effortless. When things are moving in our life in the right balance we are at rest – and that’s another paradox!

“You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life. These are the Scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life -” John 5:39-40 New International Version

It’s All in the Name

Before we were married, I remember that in conversation, friends and colleagues often referred to their ‘girl friend.’ This alone, told me very little about their relationship and left me wondering whether they were referring to a casual acquaintance or something much more serious. In the same way, the married men sometimes used the phrase ‘the wife’ or even worse, ‘her at home.’

I became so passionately in love with my ‘girl friend,’ that just saying her name was music to my ears. I couldn’t bare for us to be apart and found it difficult to wait for our next meeting. When the time eventually came to introduce her to my parents, I was just a little apprehensive. After saying, ‘this is Sally,’ I waited and held my breath. I wanted them to like her, but I was so taken up with her, no matter what they may have thought, I wouldn’t have changed my mind.

So often we may talk about ‘religion’ or ‘church’ or ‘prayer’ or ‘faith,’ but unless we go further, the conversation stays impersonal, general, cerebral and safe. We may even use the word ‘god,’ but unless we explain what we mean, listeners are left in doubt and can apply their own interpretation. Maybe that’s right at times, but once the name ‘Jesus’ is used, it starts to become personal, because we are talking of a heart relationship with God. It almost demands a response and at this point some may even feel uncomfortable and want to change the subject.

Now Jesus loves me with a passion and I love Him. He has implanted a longing inside me and He has become my life. I often mess up and let Him down, but at such times it seems – if that’s possible – He loves me even more. He forgives and forgets and wipes the slate clean. His name is music to my ears and I long to use it and speak of Him without meaning to cause offence.

Everything is in that name, because he is God.

“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:6-7 New International Version